Services A-Z     Pricing

What to expect at a Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings (MIAMs)

29 January 2026

Hi, I’m Olivia, a family lawyer and mediator at Kingsley Napley LLP working alongside four other brilliant mediators in our team. In this short blog, I set out what you can expect from your first meeting with a family mediator.


Mediation has probably been suggested or recommended to you by your solicitor or perhaps you have read about it as an effective and solutions focussed way of resolving disputes while respecting and preserving important family relationships. After making contact with a mediator, the first step will be to arrange to meet with them. This first meeting will be a one-on-one meeting with your mediator, or sole session or MIAM as it is sometimes known. I set out below some information about what that first meeting will entail.

What to expect at a MIAM?


A MIAM is an acronym for Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. Some mediators refer to it as an introductory or intake meeting or even an exploratory meeting which is my preference as I feel it better captures the objective of the meeting.

Although we might have had a brief telephone conversation or exchange of emails, our exploratory meeting will be the first time we meet properly, whether that is face to face in person or on screen. It’s an important meeting for us to get to know each other and for you to tell me about and for me to understand what is going on for you and your family. I’ll also talk to you about mediation (what it is, the likely process and how it can be adapted for each family) and provide information about other options available to work through family issues.

There’s an information form I will ask you to complete in advance of our meeting so that I have your details and you can set the scene for me ahead of our meeting. There is often a fair amount of material for us to cover when we meet and the information form helps to ensure we make the best use of the time we have together. Usually this will be anywhere between 1 and 2 hours, but everyone and every issue you might face is different and so we’ll use the time that we need.

The ‘assessment’ part can sound off-putting and a bit like an exam, but really it’s an opportunity for us both to think about whether mediation is going to be right for you and the issues you need solutions for and also for you to assess whether I am the right person to work through those issues with you and the others involved.

The fact that we are in a one-on-one meeting means that you can feel free and able to express yourself and raise any concerns or niggling worries you may have. My role throughout mediation is to be even-handed as between you and all participants involved and to be an independent and neutral facilitator of your discussions. That said, in our initial meeting what you tell me and what we discuss is confidential from the other prospective participant(s), save for a few limited exceptions relating to the safety of adults and children. This means you can have a really open conversation with me as we get to know each other and decide whether mediation is a suitable means of resolving the issues that brought you there.

I’ll also have an exploratory meeting with the other person or people in your dispute and go through the same process learning about them and providing them with information about mediation and other options. If you both or all wish to proceed and I consider that mediation is appropriate then we can move on to arranging our first joint session.

Even if we conclude that mediation isn’t suitable at this point in time, I really hope, and many prospective participants have echoed, that attending an exploratory meeting is nevertheless a really valuable investment of their time. They have understood more about mediation as a process and the other routes available to them to resolve their issues, as well as having the time and space to articulate the problems they need help with and an opportunity to consider different perspectives on that issue.

If you are interested to learn more or think that mediation might be a good way to explore and resolve issues in your family, then do get in touch with the Family Mediation Team at Kingsley Napley.

about the author

Olivia is a Senior Associate in the Family and Divorce team undertaking the full range of private family law work, including complex financial cases, pre and post-nuptial agreements and all aspects of private law children matters, both domestic and international. Olivia also specialises in surrogacy, fertility law, alternative routes to parenthood and parentage issues. Much of her work has an international element and involves HNW individuals and City professionals, with a specialism in jurisdiction and cross border disputes involving modern family structures.

 

What to expect at a Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings (MIAMs)

Hi, I’m Olivia, a family lawyer and mediator at Kingsley Napley LLP working alongside four other brilliant mediators in our team. In this short blog, I set out what you can expect from your first meeting with a family mediator.

How can mediation help couples discuss prenuptial agreements?

Tim Whitney and Connie Atkinson are both mediators and members of a Family Law Agreements Group in which they share ideas and expertise in respect of pre and postnuptial and other family agreements. In this blog Tim and Connie explore the use of mediation for couples entering into a prenuptial agreement.

Experts in mediation – a case study

When dealing with the arrangements following separation, sometimes individuals need more than just the advice of a solicitor. Experts are frequently brought in to advise on specialist areas, such as taxation and pensions.  The court process is adversarial in nature, and as such can easily become a breeding ground for polarised views and distrust.   Expert opinions relied on by one party can be viewed with suspicion by the other, leading to lengthy (and costly) questions about, or submissions in respect of, those opinions.  Each person may feel it necessary to seek their own expert advice in the background…double the experts usually means double the costs, reducing the total resources left to be shared.

Court as a last resort!

How you approach resolving a dispute with your ex-partner, whether regarding finances or your children, is an important first step in your case and can set the tone moving forward. Whilst previously, alternative ways of resolving disputes outside of court proceedings (now defined as non-court dispute resolution or ‘NCDR’)were always available options, under new procedure rules that have recently come intof force there is now a far greater expectation that parties should actively engage in NCDR throughout the entirety of proceedings with possible financial consequences if they do not.

Pets are for life, even after divorce: solutions for pet arrangements from pet nups to mediation

Today, 11 April 2024, is National Pet Day.  Most of my clients and the lawyers and experts with whom I work know far too much about my beautiful dog, Charlie and since I last wrote about him, my husband and I have added Norman to our pack. Charlie joined our family 7 years ago this month, and when we made the decision to adopt him we thought carefully, not only about how we could care for him together, but what should happen if we should both pass away or if we should separate.  We had a similar chat before we brought Norman home just over two months ago.

Mediating Modern Families

Modern science has enabled many people to achieve their dream of having a family. Families now come in lots of different shapes and sizes, having trodden many different paths to parenthood.

Celebrity Confidential! Why mediation can be the answer for high-profile couples

We have heard this week about the many advantages of mediation and how it can help couples deal with the arrangements arising out of their separation in a flexible and respectful way. There seems to be an improved dialogue between lawyers and their clients about mediation as an option which we believe has led to an increase in mediation enquiries, particularly over the last year.

Family Mediation Week – The Future is Bright

As Family Mediation Week draws to a close, I’ve been reflecting on how far we’ve come over the past year.  And I’ve decided to be optimistic.

Mediation, celebrity culture and avoiding the spotlight

As Mediation Week draws to an end, it is worth remembering in this celebrity culture, that another big draw to mediation, particularly for those high profile individuals who want to keep their family matters away from the prying eyes of the media, is that mediation takes place in private, and, if matters can be agreed, never needs to go before a judge sitting in court.

Co-mediation – when two heads are better than one

The traditional family mediation model sees clients agree on the identity of one qualified mediator, and meet with that person together. One of the big advantages of mediation compared to a court approach is the flexibility that can be offered to clients, with a number of mediation models and styles from which to choose. With the agreement of the couple and their mediator, a mediation can be tailored to meet the needs of the individuals and to help them explore different issues with the right level of support. 

Family mediation in a pandemic – the challenges and opportunities for separating couples

The past year has caused each of us to reflect on what is most important in our lives. Family. Friends. Freedom. It has also made us look forward, to life post-pandemic; and this, along with the pressures of lockdown, home-schooling, and everything else 2020 had to chuck at us, has understandably resulted in lots of couples deciding to go their separate ways. 

Avoid courts to lessen the pain of family break-ups

We need to move away from legal disputes for separating families to help to build better relationships and cause less harm. Society’s approach to divorce and separation has to change.  A report published today by the Family Solutions Group calls for a rethink. 

 

My financial circumstances have changed since COVID-19 – can I vary the spousal maintenance I pay?

If your income has reduced as a result of the coronavirus pandemic, you may not be able to pay the same amount of maintenance to your former partner. This could be short-term or you might be worried the situation could be more permanent. In this blog, we set out some key points to consider if you can no longer afford to pay the spousal maintenance you have been ordered to.

Moving abroad or returning home with children and the risks of child abduction during the coronavirus crisis

Despite the wonders of modern technology helping to keep people in touch during the coronavirus pandemic, many separated and divorced parents who live far from their children are finding life very difficult at the moment. In this blog, we look at some of these scenarios and the questions arising at this unprecedented time for separated parents who either wish to relocate or stop the other parent from relocating overseas (international relocation) or to another part of the UK (internal relocation).

Am I stuck with my divorce settlement after coronavirus?

The coronavirus pandemic is changing the world dramatically. It can feel as though the ground is shifting beneath your feet. If you are recently divorced, or are currently getting divorced, that feeling may be a familiar one. We can’t predict what the health implications of COVID-19 will be for us individually, or for the community we live in, but some economic effects are already being felt by many who have already either lost their jobs, been furloughed or had a reduction in income. In this rapidly evolving environment where people’s financial circumstances are changing, many are asking if their divorce settlement still applies. In this blog, which is the first in a series on the subject, we set out some preliminary guidance.

Resolving family disputes through mediation, arbitration and private FDRs during the coronavirus crisis

The coronavirus crisis has brought about some of the biggest challenges to our lives, health and freedoms that many of us will ever experience. The pressures we face are significant while we also do our best to manage the impact on our relationships, mental health and financial circumstances.  It is important that we all try to communicate and do what we can to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe and happy while acknowledging that the ways in which we can do this are very different to what we are used to. In this blog, we consider alternate dispute resolution methods (including online) that are available to help couples navigate a separation either with the support of a solicitor or on their own during this time.

COVID-19: overcoming the challenges of co-parenting for separated and divorced parents

Following the government announcing restrictions last night for staying at home and away from others, further details have been published about the “lockdown” restrictions, which confirm that “moving children under 18 between their parents’ homes” is one of the permitted reasons to leave home. 

Reflections on The Split – S2, E6: …and that’s a wrap

Tuesday saw the emotional final episode of series 2 of The Split which involved many of the key characters going their separate ways. In this blog, Connie Atkinson reflects on how to support children through separation together and ways of resolving practical arrangements on divorce.

Reflections on The Split – S2, E4: Child arrangements, adoption and a potential sex tape scandal

This week’s episode of The Split began with high drama between Hannah and Christie following the secret that Nina let slip at the end of the last episode. The issues between Hannah’s client, Fi, and her husband, Richie, continued to develop so Hannah and Christie were forced to work together despite their personal differences. Fi and Richie couldn’t agree on the arrangements for their three children so a joint meeting was arranged with their lawyers.

The advantages of mediation in resolving family disputes

Today marks the end of family mediation week. In this blog Connie Atkinson summarises the mediation process and, as considered in our historic blogs, examine the key benefits of mediation and other methods of dispute resolution as a way of resolving the practical arrangements following separation.

Skip to content Home About Us Insights Services Contact Accessibility