Blog
Hidden Flags
Mary Young
It’s 2019, and I’m angry. I’m angry that we are still having these conversations: why conversion therapy should be banned, why lesbian couples can’t feel safe to be affectionate towards each other on public transport, why it remains controversial to mention the existence of LGBTQ+ relationships to schoolchildren, and why, in reality, most gay and bi men are still being excluded from donating blood.
I look back over the past year, and sadly, there have been a number of occasions when ill-informed homophobic comments have aroused my ire. But, I reckon it’s good to be angry when it protects something that we deem is worth protecting and when we feel we should do something about it. So today, I will put my anger to good use and take a minute to explain to the authors of those comments why I feel they are ill-informed or just plain wrong.
- In February, The Grand Tour, filmed a sequence where Hammond and May mock Clarkson for driving a Wrangler Jeep in Colombia. “Isn’t that a popular car with the gay community” says May, before Clarkson is ribbed for wearing a pink shirt and ‘It’s Raining Men’ is played on the car’s stereo. Will Young called out this offensive behaviour and for his efforts received the following non-apology from Clarkson. “I will apologise to Will for causing him some upset and reassure him that I know I’m not homophobic as I very much enjoy watching lesbians on the internet.” Dear Jeremy, do you find this funny? Did it possibly occur to you that it is exactly this type of shaming and laughter at homophobic narratives that causes many young LGBTQ+ to be bullied or harassed, or tragically to commit suicide? For my part, I just can’t seem to find the funny side in that.
- In March, Parkfield Community School in Saltley, Birmingham protested over ‘No Outsiders’ lessons being delivered to their children. Dear parent, who held the sign stating “say no to promoting of homosexuality and LGBT ways of life to our children”, please rest assured that we are not on recruitment drive. But it’s true, LGBTQ+ people are out there; we are in your cities, in your communities and perhaps even in your homes. What these lessons are designed to teach is understanding and tolerance that, happily, people are different and beauty lies in our differences. I would have thought that is quite a useful lesson to teach those you love.
- In June, during an interview with Sky News, Brexit Party MEP Ann Widdecombe said “The fact that we think it is now quite impossible for people to switch sexuality doesn't mean that science might not be able to produce an answer at some stage." Dear Anne, in case you weren’t aware, being gay or transgender is not a disease to be cured. Let me live and let be.
- And finally, to all of the trolls who attacked Tom Daley and Lance Black over the birth of their son via a surrogate, I have this to say: A child born into a same-sex family is very much wanted; it may have escaped your attention but it is not particularly easy for gay couples to ‘accidentally’ fall pregnant. And do not ask “Who’s the father/mother?” firstly, that is none of your business and secondly, it’s a stupid question, the obvious answer to that question is … we both are.
On this gloriously sunny eve to the London Pride parade, I wish you all a very happy and safe Pride. If, like me, you feel that progress for LGBTQ+ communities has stalled or even reversed this year, then I ask you to keep up the fight and have the courage and determination to call out behaviour that you won’t tolerate. Remaining silent, as history shows, will never achieve the desired effect.
Thank you to all members of Kingsley Napley’s LGBTQ & Allies network for contributing to this blog series and for making Kingsley Napley a more colourful and happy place to work.
About the author
Melinka Berridge is a Partner in Kingsley Napley’s regulatory team. She is Co-chair of the firm’s LGBTQ+ & Allies network and Chair of the firm’s Diversity and Inclusion committee.
Latest blogs & news
Making Space for Homeless Queers: An Interview with The Outside Project
This Pride Month, Kingsley Napley’s LGBTQ+ & Allies Network spoke with Carla Ecola (they/them), Co-Founder and Managing Director of The Outside Project. The Outside Project was first established in 2017 to support those within the LGBTIQ+ community who are homeless, “hidden” homeless, or feel endangered or unable to access key services, such as housing.
Pride in the paths to parenthood
In honour of Pride Month, we are discussing (and celebrating) the diverse paths to parenthood within the LGBTQ+ community. For couples or individuals looking to start a family, there are a number of options available, each with important factors and implications to consider. This short blog touches on some of those considerations.
Trans+ History Week
Last week marked the second annual Trans+ History Week, founded by QueerAF in 2024.
Trans Day of Visibility – 31 March 2025
Trans Day of Visibility (sometimes referred to as ‘TDOV’) is an annual celebration of trans, non-binary and gender non-conforming people, marked every year on 31 March 2025.
Transgender Day of Visibility
Transgender Day of Visibility (TDOV) is a day for joy and celebration. It is an opportunity for trans and non-binary people to feel seen, heard and loved, and for allies to visibly show their solidarity.
Expansion of the disregards and pardons scheme for historic same-sex sexual activity convictions
In a long-overdue announcement by the Home Office, women who were in the past unjustly convicted of same-sex consensual sexual activity will be able to apply for their convictions to be disregarded or pardoned for the first time. This is a significant step forward for queer rights in the UK.
The importance of LGBTQ+ & Allies networks
Kingsley Napley’s LGBTQ+ & Allies network is a large, loud and proud group
IDAHOBIT: International Day against Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia 2023
May 17th marks ‘International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia’, a day to raise awareness of the discrimination and violence that faces LGBTQ+ people. It serves as a reminder of the challenges the LGBTQ+ community face and the steps we still need to take to achieve LGBTQ+ equality.
Trans Day of Visibility 2023 – Echoes of The Past
On this year's Trans Day of Visibility, our Associate Ellie Fayle explains why it matters so much.
National Coming Out Day: How “coming out” is more about “letting people into your life”
How “coming out” is more about “letting people into your life”
No-Fault Divorce: A Step Forward for the LGBTQ Community
The introduction of the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020 on 6 April 2022, bringing in the long-awaited “no-fault divorce”, is considered to be one of the most significant reforms of family law in many years. Although not widely commented on, it also potentially signifies an important step for the LGBTQ community.
Oslo tragedy reminds us why Pride still matters
In the final blog of our Pride 2022 series, we say thank you to everyone who, in their own way, seek to make the world a kinder, better place for the LGBT* community.
1975 – 2022: An interview with Queer Strike
Pride 2022 marks the fiftieth anniversary of the first official UK Gay Pride March held in London. We are marking each decade from 1972 to 2022 with a blog every week throughout June.
1982-1992 – Strength in Numbers
As part of our Pride month blog series, I have reviewed the period 1982 – 1992; the decade in which I was born. In the hope that I can still consider myself to be fairly young, to me, the 1980s do not seem that long ago. In researching the developments made during this decade, however, I was shocked reflecting on how out of touch and discriminatory the law, media and social views still were at the time.
1992-2002: Mermaids, Consent, and Gaytime TV too
Pride 2022 marks the fiftieth anniversary of the first official UK Gay Pride Rally held in London. We are marking each decade from 1972 to 2022 with a blog every week throughout June.
2002-2012: A decade when Parliament put right two significant wrongs
Pride 2022 marks the fiftieth anniversary of the first official UK Gay Pride Rally held in London, and we are marking each decade from 1972 to 2022 with a blog each week throughout Pride Month. This weeks blog covers the decade of of 2002-2012.
2012-2022: Why Pride Still Needs to be a Protest
Pride 2022 marks the fiftieth anniversary of the first official UK Gay Pride Rally held in London, and we are marking each decade from 1972 to 2022 with a blog each week throughout Pride Month.
Celebrating Trans Day of Visibility - A Kingsley Napley Q & A
We were recently excited and grateful to announce that Kingsley Napley was named in Stonewall’s Workplace Equality Index 2022 of Top 100 Employers List for LGBTQ+ people. While it is vital for workplaces to commit to inclusion and create a welcoming environment for their LGBTQ+ staff, the annual celebration of Trans Day of Visibility (TDoV) importantly draws attention to the critical need for more meaningful visibility in the media and beyond in order to pave the way for trans liberation in wider society.
Hidden from History; Why We Should Rediscover The True Stories Behind Queer Art & Culture
Few would disagree with the suggestion that, in order to really understand an artwork and the full extent of its cultural resonance, one needs to know something about the artist who made it.
Banning conversion therapy: how the UK Government proposals fall short and risk criminalising gender identity counselling services
The UK Government proposals to ban conversion therapy fall short and risk criminalising gender identity counselling services.
On 29 October 2021 the Government launched a consultation on restricting conversion therapy. Although the Government proposals are a step in the right direction, it only limits conversion therapy rather than banning it outright.
You may also be interested in:
We welcome views and opinions about the issues raised in this blog. Should you require specific advice in relation to personal circumstances, please use the form on the contact page.
Share insightLinkedIn X Facebook Email to a friend Print